Do you feel like your Inner Child needs attention from other people? We want to shore this up.
The only place your Inner Child needs attention from is the Inner Being. You are wanting your Inner Child to give over this observation that you have of yourself to the Inner Being.
This discomfort between you and others is actually a part of your navigation of shame. As you see others as adequate or inadequate, you have an attachment to yourself as adequate or inadequate based on your role in their life.
So, we’re going to soothe this for a moment. You, the Inner Child, are going to practice tuning to the goodness of who you are now.
This is going to clean up the energy and frequency between you and others because as you are negotiating yourself as adequate and inadequate, you are inviting the group to navigate shame. Your heart is not desiring to go there to navigate shame, but there is a part of you, your Inner Child, that is wanting forgiveness. This forgiveness needs to come from you.
You need to know that the Inner Being forgives you. In fact, the Inner Being doesn’t even see you as needing to be forgiven. The Inner Being sees you as a human, who has been navigating their life, doing the best that they could.
Does that mean that we do things that we no longer want to do? Yes.
Does that mean that we have had cringy parts in our life? Yes.
Does that mean that we have caused harm at times? Yes.
You are a human and that happens.
The Inner Child is wanting validation for something. Others don’t validate you. Others might not approve of you. This might make you cringe, but your validation can’t come from others.
Let’s linger here with this Inner Child.
Dear Inner Child,
I see you.
I am aware of you.
Abraham Hicks calls this looking for love in all the wrong places. You are to go to this place to be an expression of love. Not needing anything from these beautiful people that you are going to interact with. Deliberately taking lots of moments to be with yourself, so you could fill yourself up, then you could go be with them.
Dear Inner Child,
I see you.
I am aware of you.
I am aware that you’ve had nobody love you like this in your life.
You are hopeful to experience love in this lifetime, human to human.
I see the wants and dreams that you had as a child.
I see some aspects of this not being met externally.
Right now, you are an adult.
The Inner Being is here for you.
Giving this pain over to the Inner Being.
When we do this, you could imagine the Inner Child passing to the Inner Being, pain. You could imagine a conveyer belt. You could put all of this emotion into a box and pass over the box to the Inner Being. There could be more boxes. You could put this over. Put it in. Fill it up.
It’s really important for you to have a boundary with yourself around negative emotion. Meaning that staying focused on negative emotion too long for you, sucks you in. Depressed is sticking with negative emotion for a long period of time. You want to loosen up. You need to give a boundary to the Inner Child. She is allowed to express herself in negative emotion for 15 min. Then she must pivot her focus to appreciation. She MUST pivot her focus to appreciation. Sticking on negative emotion for you is never going to end. You have never ending lists of measurement of shame – adequate and inadequate. You will never get to the bottom of this list. You can give yourself moments, like 15 minutes, to be heard in a negative way. Then you must pivot to appreciation.
For you to be safe and secure, you must tune yourself many, many, many times to the goodness of you. Regardless of what is going on in the outside world. You must begin to know the goodness of you internally. When we are in the goodness of ourselves, we are in a protected container. With no holes. No doorways. No permission for anyone to come in, unless we invite them in. When we are in the negotiation, and navigating of adequate and inadequate, of measurement and judgement, the container is super leaky. We might not even be in a container. You are outside and vulnerable. These beautiful people that you are interacting with also know this vulnerability. That will be a dangerous place for all of you. So, you need to make a choice going there.
For the Inner Child, this choice is a grown-up choice. You are going to go there as a grown up, not as a child. A child is someone asking the outside to validate them. A grown up is someone in the knowingness of who they are. Likely if you go into any past conversations, that is going to be a danger zone for you too. For you to have the most positive experience, it will be in the present moment. You, tuning to things to appreciate in the present moment.
This is going to take a lot of effort on your part because of past habits and patterns. Because of things that you are releasing. You are making new muscles and pathways. This is not going to be easy. It is going to be deliberate. You are going to need to tune yourself.
Whenever you are aware of good or bad, right or wrong, adequate or inadequate that is your clue to:
- Know the goodness of you.
- Tune to appreciation.
That is going to be your teacher. You can do this. You are going to need to segment yourself. You’re going to need to take many moments for yourself. You need to move into presence of yourself, then presence to the group. Then presence of yourself, then presence to the group. Making a little schedule for yourself. Fifteen-minute moments. In those moments, you will see the Inner Child. You will activate the goodness of her. You will appreciate her for her ability to tune to appreciation in those moments with your family. She will need to be validated. You will need to validate her. You will need to validate her a lot. You validate by saying, “I see you. I understand you. Wow. Look at you.”
Replaying the moments. “Look at when you wanted to go this way, and you redirected yourself this way. Woah, I am so proud of you. You are so strong. You are doing so well I love you. I am aware that this is not easy. I am aware that you are deliberate. I am aware of this. I love you. I am here for you. Rest with me. Come close to the Inner Being. Rest with me here, in ease. You are safe. I’ve got you. We are here together. You are not alone. Let me nurture you. Let me say kind things to you. Let me validate you. It’s okay to need to be validated. Let me validate you, inside, here, in this safe space.”
That is the roadmap for a successful time.
Make this a fun, whimsical game.
There is mutuality of respect. That respect is coming from the inside. It is coming from the Inner Child and the Inner Being having this respect within them. That respect is what creates the solid container. When you bump into people in agreeance with you or not, there is nothing to prove. There is this ease and knowingness.
We get into danger when we are needing that outside validation. I know it is a human need to be comforted and soothed in that way. The brilliance is that when you are slurping this up on the inside, it then becomes easy and natural on the outside. You will get it on the outside. You don’t do it on the inside to get it on the outside. You do it on the inside because it feels good to do on the inside.
It’s you in control. You’re not controlling. It’s you in control. It’s you in alignment. It’s you in your steadiness.
It’s you in your magic.